From TTC to 20 weeks pregnant (Caitlin's Story)

Firstly please reconsider reading this email if miscarriage or pregnancy loss may be a potential trigger. I've included some support resources at the bottom of this page if you need them 🕊️

I’m currently 20 weeks pregnant, and I wanted to share something personal… because you share so much of your story with us, and it feels only fair I share a little of mine too.

First - I feel incredibly fortunate to be here. But it wasn’t the easiest road.

It took us about 1.5 years to conceive our first baby. When we finally saw those two lines, we were overseas with family - you know that feeling where everything suddenly feels bright and possible? We were so excited.

And then, at our 10 week dating scan, we found out it was a missed miscarriage. No warning signs. Just one moment you’re planning a future, and the next you’re learning you’re grieving it. Those excited feelings turned into sadness so quickly, and I don’t think you ever forget that kind of loss.

If you’ve been through that, or something similar, I’m just really sorry. It’s a lonely kind of grief, even when you’re surrounded by the people you love.

After that, we fell pregnant again soon after, which felt like a huge blessing… and honestly, a lot of mixed emotions too. I’m grateful to say this pregnancy has been healthy so far. I’m 20 weeks now, and I’m still having moments where it doesn’t feel real.

Something else I didn’t expect: The first trimester completely humbled me!

I had around 10 weeks where I was basically in bed. Nausea, vomiting, sleeping, barely keeping food down, and doing the absolute minimum. I’m used to being “on” - productive, reliable, busy and suddenly my body was like: nope.

• It forced me to let go of a lot of guilt.
• Guilt about feeling “lazy.”
• Guilt about not replying fast enough.
• Guilt about not keeping up.
• Guilt about prioritising my needs, and my baby’s, before others.